i can't sleep.
i'm too full and slightly buzzed - off only 2 beers and a port! weeeeeeak.
but it was well worth it...i must say, our bcny (aka burger club new
york) is da shit. we hit up pop burger tonite. it was tres bien! and
who knew cafeteria had such sinfully delicious desserts? wowzers.
thanks ahn tohn for pulling the reverse psychology on me. i'm so
bummed. i came home with the intent to take some b12's and go to bed,
but i think the bottle was another victim in my bedroom fire. =( sho
shad...

here's a couple of pix from last friday...

99!

no, not really (hellooooo? do u kno who i am?) just my family and frenz - b/c they're the reasons life can be good.

thank you frenz for a very memorable one, i am so blessed to know each and every one of u.  

from grubbin and drinkin to all things taboo, from the most awesome kick-ass powerpoint presentation EVER (EVER!) to mein Freund nachdenklich in Deutschland (sie blumen sind sehr shoen!!), it was unforgettable. 

and i'm VERY thankful my entire room didnt burn to the ground beforehand.  i guess now i have an excuse to buy some new curtains and blankets. Yay!

omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg

I HATE EVERYONE!

yes, EVERYONE.

and some way more than others.

y, procrastination of course! ok, that was lamer than lame. but still, procrastination is an artform i've gotten down pat. i guess some skills really do stay with u forever.  so i'm at home, listenin to some jazz, semi-watching the mets game, and just catchin up on everyone's xanga. it's bin a while since i've been able to xanga freely.  lately it's been done secretly at work in between emails, paranoid that someone will catch me - i'm pretty positive they have already, b/c all of a sudden my company blocked access to xanga. booooo. and it doesnt help that i'm always blogging out of anger and frustration from work circumstances.

uh oh, i'm getting sleeeeeepy. yet another side effect of procrastination...but it could also be b/c i was at work until 2am last nite and had to get up early today. and i have to be at work tomorrow by 730am. 730AM! is that not SO wrong or wut? it should be outlawed.

u kno wut, i really have nuttin to say. i'm just wasting away the time till the moment arrives when i look at the clock and think, SHIT, i'm FUKED.  but by that point i'm so damn tired, that i resort to plan B: taking a nap and waking up super early to finish my work. but we all kno how that turns out- i oversleep and don't wake up until 45 mins b4 i have to get to work. and of course i kno all this now, yet will not do a damn thing to circumvent it. no sense fighting the inevitable. i'll just ride the wave until i drown.

i just realized- i don't have an ounce of peppiness in my soul. u kno how some ppl are so damn gung ho, cheery-o, happy-go-lucky all the time? there is not a single bone in my body like that. that's kinda too bad. i'd want at least a tiny fragment of that in like maybe my pinky toe. or maybe even a whole ankle. who knows? it might make a difference. or maybe not. do u think some ppl are just born more sullen than others? cuz i swear i was born a pessimist (or a realist, depending on how u look at it), or am i really just a product of my environment...hmmm. ok no more thinking. thinking is bad....bad i say!  i'm just gonna enjoy the calming melody of my music till i have to face the horror.

adios!

today is the International Moment of Frustration Scream Day. no, really!

so if anyone ticks u off, just go ahead and yell your head off.  cuz you're allowed.

AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

we celebrated lil c's bday last nite, yay! it was a grand ole time at the good ole cpk.  i'm sure ajkim will send out the pix soon.

and he did!

YAY Connie!

the most delicious red velvet cake! mmmmm...........

present time!

and more festivities this wknd...yay!

it's only tuesday and i'm at my wit's end already. not good. there are so many things stressing me out that i don't know where to begin. if i was as rich as i was stressed, damn i'd be the richest bitch in america. 

so something totally unrelated- does anyone watch the show 'heroes'?  now that's a damn good show. i'm totally hooked. sure it lacks the sinfully delicious eyecandy that was bestowed upon prisonbreak, but aint no matter b/c it's that good.  i've discovered so many more shows now b/c of tivo, it's fantastic.  i can't imagine my life without tivo. i'd never know the joy of watching weeds or entourage or some other show i probably don't really need to watch. or be able to pause and rewind b/c the traffic outside is so loud or b/c so-and-so just looked so cute i needed a double take.

i think the best day so far was sunday- my friend was visiting from seattle. it was great hanging out with her again, and it's nice to know that some things just don't change. we can still laugh and connect like we used to way back when, despite our lives having totally diverged along the way. even her face looks the same, circa 1995.  and she says she still feels young. i on the other hand feel so dang old.  why is that? y do i feel so old when other ppl my age still feel so young? i'd like to know their secret, cuz i for one just feel so....damn....tired.  i dunno. i just drank a whole can of soda. and i hate soda.

poo.

i still contend that watching sports in the west coast is infinitely better. ALWAYS!

GO DODGERS!

all the flights for xmas require that i a) starve for a few months and b) have ridiculously lengthy layovers in cities i do not want to be in.

damn the most wonderful time of year. DAMN YOU!   You will never hold a candle to Thanksgiving in my book.

my zest for consuming inordinate amounts of alcohol has waned significantly over the past few months, almost nonexistent now. i am detesting the bar scene more and more with every waking moment, and i shudder at downing shots.  i'm kinda worried. i may attribute this to just getting old and tired, but i also think i'm just in a funk.  coming back from vacay will do that to you. the slap of reality is crisp and harsh when you return to the stagnant life you left.

but on to more pleasant things...we celebrated another LA transplant's bday last nite, yay!  and i hear bday boy is still passed out at this moment on his living room couch...as he should be.  maybe it was the cuban i had for dinner (cuban, B!), but i just wasn't buzzed at all.  granted i didn't drink that much- 3 shots of patron, a dirty martini, and a malibu/cran, but i was expecting a lil buzz, especially after the cigarettes. i lied and said i was at a 4, but really i was at like a 1 (sorry guys, but i didn't have the heart to break the news of my sobriety last nite).  oh well! i didn't really mind tho, because a) i still had a great time b) i don't have a hangover/headache  c) i remember every hilarious detail/conversation from last nite, hehe.

so i did something extremely retarded this week.  i was lying on my couch watching tv and bout to light my cigarette. as i struck the match on the side of the matchbox (btw, wth is that thing called? the reddish stripe you flick the match on??), the matchstick broke in half.  i was still holding the bottom half when the other half landed on my stomach and burned through my shirt.  in a panic i flung it off and it landed across the room.  i was so angry at the pussy match i didn't even pick it up until hours later. i decided i would leave it there to think about what it did. needless to say, it was ouchy and i had to throw away that shirt. luckily it was just a sleep shirt and i have a neverending stash of those.

my friend is leaving nyc and moving to germany of all places in a couple of weeks! =(  but it will be good for him and hopefully i can visit next year during Eurotrip: Summer of 2007. We went to Blue Water Grill on Tuesday and i forgot how good that place is. Yummmm...i took pix but i will post them later when i find my Cd-rom software for my camera.  Ditto for Hawaii, camping, and pix from last nite.

Now back to the dreadful world of bras and underwear. Smell y'all later.

i picked up this book at the honolulu airport and i can't put it down!
i've always been so fascinated with the concept (as i'm sure most ppl
are) and my mind would wander off into the depths of fantastic
possibility.  where would i go back to, and when? who would i see,
would i do something differently or just observe? wut are the
psychological repercussions of running into the past me face to face?
is that even possible or would i be breaking the time-space continuum
and i would cease to exist? would going into the past warm my heart, or
just break it from sadness? too many things to ponder...and i ponder
them all...especially when i lie in bed and my mind starts racing. i
think it slowly drives me mad.

anyhoo, if i could time travel i'd definitely go back to hawaii- and
then freeze it for a while.  i'd also go back and wear long
sleeves and pants before heading out camping this past wknd. maybe then
i wouldn't have 50+ itchy ass mosquito welts allover. i'd go back to
several days in college where i was just so happy just hanging with my
frenz. i'd go back to my childhood and enjoy the simple life of an
unassuming child, content eating apple jacks, watching sesame street,
going to the mall with my family, and being lifted by the arms on both
sides by my parents. i would NOT go back to middle skool, cuz those yrs
should just disappear. but i would go back to high skool for a few
moments, when life wasn't necessarily easier, but so concentrated in
the here and now and therefore richer.

i would be hesistant to time travel to the future tho- i think some
things should be left to unfold in its own time, when it's meant to be.
that's not to say i'd be damn curious to see a glimpse of it, but
better leave pandora's box alone.

ok, back to the book. hopefully i will finish it before goin back to
work tomorrow.  pix of hawaii and camping to follow soon. my tan
is fading, but i've already been called a filipino and a 3rd world
refugee, so u've bin warned.